Author: Роман Петров — 786
Don’t Shut Off the Warmth
Romantic and family folklore treats the disappearance of warmth as a normal way to show how serious the offence was. But cold silence easily turns closeness into a system of…
Not Becoming a Pack
School morality and adult morality usually present bullying as a conflict between an aggressor and a victim. In reality it almost always needs an audience that laughs, stays silent, or…
Answer 42
The culture around artificial intelligence has quickly produced a new oracle. Word the request correctly and the machine supposedly hands over an answer that used to require an education, experience…
Is more choice always better?
The best is the enemy of the good. — Voltaire A table with twenty-four kinds of jam stopped more shoppers; a table with six ended in a purchase more often.…
Units, axes and other signs of civilisation
A number without a unit is often useless. Five metres, five millimetres and five degrees describe different situations. A table with no units can look convincing right up to the…
Before the First Move
Preparation is not there so you can postpone the start indefinitely, but so you do not stop after five minutes because a tool is missing. Karl Weick wrote about the…
A Conversation Without an Indictment
Conflict culture likes to explain a single episode with a full history of character: “you always,” “you never,” “you’re just like that.” After that the other person is left defending…
Naming Bullying
Bullying rarely starts with a formal announcement. First comes a nickname, a repeated joke, a small shove, or a test of how much a person will put up with. After…
A Map, Not a Warehouse
Scattered facts do little for orientation. You can know dates, terms and formulas and still not understand how they connect and under what conditions they apply. Knowledge becomes useful when…
Attention Is Not Demand
Promising is not the same as marrying. — Russian proverb On one screen, 327 likes; in the calendar, not a single date. The contradiction exists only for as long as…
By-Products of a Profession
Work brings more than a salary and the main result. It produces by-products: knowledge, contacts, reputation, tools, a portfolio, data, an understanding of the industry, access to opportunities and the…
Grievance Without a Throne
A grievance often combines pain with an expectation of acknowledgement. The person isn’t only living through something unpleasant. They want the other to understand the damage, agree with their version…
The Inner Adult
In a difficult situation, one question helps: How would an adult act here? Not a perfect one. Not a fearless one. Not one who always knows the right answer. Just…
Learning It a Second Time
It is impossible to learn in advance everything you will need in life. Some professions do not exist yet, some technologies will disappear, and much of what you studied will…
The clock, age and the price of waiting
Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician. — An ironic aphorism In March 1978 The Washington Post ran a column headlined “The clock is ticking for the career…
Work That Leaves You More Skilled
Some jobs spend a skill. Others accumulate it. Early in a career, what helps most is an environment where a person: solves increasingly difficult problems; gets feedback; sees strong specialists…
An Apology Without a Lawyer
The public ritual of apology often turns into an explanation of why the guilty party is barely guilty and the injured party took it all too hard. A good apology…
Authority without self-promotion
Society teaches you to announce yourself: to display confidence, honesty, leadership and a personal brand. But authority is poorly built by direct announcement — it accumulates out of repeated acts.…
After the formulas
The book can be assembled into a sequence of checks. First you need to define the observable quantity: attention, desire, duration, jealousy or relationship quality. Then the binding constraint: a…
Is Love Chemistry?
Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary In a supplement shop you can find a “trust spray” with oxytocin. The description promises heightened closeness,…