Lawyer for Yesterday’s Self

Once a decision is made, the brain quickly hires itself out to us as a defence lawyer.

The purchase turns out to have been sensible. The job we took was the only one possible. The opportunity we missed was no good anyway. The person we turned down suddenly reveals a whole set of flaws that were not noticeable before.

This rationalisation does useful work. Without it we could go on revisiting the past forever and holding internal trials over every sandwich. The mind needs a way to close cases.

The difficulty starts when the lawyer is given the right to destroy the case files.

To keep a good opinion of himself, a person can deny an obvious mistake, blame circumstances or retroactively change his motives:

That is exactly what I wanted.

There was no other choice.

It would never have worked anyway.

I did it on principle.

Sometimes that is exactly how it was. Sometimes it is a press release issued after a bad decision.

It is worth separating two questions:

Why did my decision make sense at the time?

What now shows that it was wrong?

It is most visible on large purchases. Someone who chose a flat next to a noisy road explains a month later that the noise actually helps him fall asleep, that there is a bus stop nearby and that quiet districts are eerie in the evening. All of that may be true. It is easy to check: just recall whether those arguments were on the list before the purchase. If they appeared afterwards, they are not arguments but interior finishing.

Rationalisation can be identified by one sign. A real reason was known in advance and could be tested, whereas a rationalisation always explains precisely the result that occurred. The lawyer for yesterday’s self never loses a case: if the outcome is unfavourable, he simply changes the charge.

You can admit a mistake without declaring your former self an idiot. That person acted with different information, different experience and a different state of mind. His decision may have been reasonable then and unlucky in its result. Or unreasonable even then — that happens too.

Admitting a mistake does not require hating the person who made it. Especially if that person was you.