Author: Роман Петров — 786
A Message for the Recipient
Business culture likes brevity, intellectual culture likes completeness. A good message does not choose between them in the abstract: it gives the particular recipient exactly the context needed to understand…
Defect or feature
The culture of self-acceptance likes turning every flaw into a hidden virtue. The formula is pleasant, but it sometimes prevents you from recognising a real defect and deciding whether it…
Hard does not mean right
In everyday morality, difficulty counts almost automatically as proof of value. A decision that came hard looks more honest, and suffering lends the choice some weight. But difficulty is a…
An Estimate for the Impossible
The word “impossible” often hides a more precise constraint. The psychologists Roger Buehler, Dale Griffin and Michael Ross asked people to estimate how long their own tasks would take —…
Why Simple Answers Are So Hard to Kill
A stereotype has several advantages over a good model. It is short, it does not require you to specify the country, the generation, the social class and the design of…
Jealous Means He Loves You?
Jealousy is always born with love, but it does not always die with it. — François de La Rochefoucauld If future archaeologists reconstructed our civilization from romantic films alone, they…
Labour without a table of ranks
Status culture splits work into prestigious mental labour and simple physical labour. Such a table says little about usefulness, responsibility and skill — but it explains nicely why some people…
Getting Acquainted Without an Interrogation
At a first meeting you want to work out quickly who is in front of you. Where the person grew up, what they do, what interests them, why they chose…
Roles and Face
The advice “be yourself” assumes there is one final version stored inside a person, and that presenting it honestly to the world is enough. Society demands this authenticity and punishes…
Your own goal
Society hands out ready-made routes: a good education, the right career, a place of your own, a family by the appointed date. Such a goal is convenient because it spares…
Why couples fight about the same thing
In an argument the truth is lost. The one who ends the argument is the smarter one. — L. N. Tolstoy Seen from a distance, conflict looks like a sign…
A Formula Without the Fine Print
Take the rule that whoever loves less holds the power. Picture two people: one moved to the partner’s country, gave up work, barely speaks the local language and spent several…
Stubbornness with a switch
Persistence is needed for almost any noticeable result. The first attempts are often poor, refusals outnumber agreements, and learning looks like a series of proofs of your own inexperience. In…
Learning from a Master Without Becoming a Copy
The culture of originality demands that you sound like yourself straight away and is suspicious of imitation. But learning almost always begins with repeating someone else’s form; the problem appears…
Let them finish
A culture of speed treats the good conversationalist as the one who understands fast and answers fast. So interrupting is easily disguised as quick-wittedness: the point is already clear, why…
The decision after cooling down
A strong emotion narrows the field of view. In anger you see the injustice and almost nothing of the consequences of your reply. Being in love shows you the virtues…
Candy and dinner
A small child takes the candy now instead of a good dinner tonight. An adult is formally capable of choosing otherwise. In practice, humanity built credit cards, same-day delivery and…
Compromise: virtue or trap?
Compromise is the art of dividing a cake so that everyone believes he got the biggest piece. — Ludwig Erhard “In a good marriage both people meet each other halfway”…
Sales techniques of Egyptian street vendors
There’s a joke about Lieutenant Rzhevsky, who asked the hussars for advice on how to attract a lady. They suggested he first pay attention to the lady or her accessory,…
There’s no money!
“There’s never enough money” is a sentiment shared by almost everyone. There’s a statement, for which a Nobel Prize in Economics was awarded for its mathematical proof, that says: “A…